I was in a chat recently where there was some new members added and the current members showed up to size up the new intake and, as I observed, to assert dominance. This had happened to me as well when I was added to the group. It’s a natural thing, there’s always a pecking order in the group, and the official or unofficial leader of the group is referred to as “The Alpha”.
So in the process of expanding a group the older members like to make it clear who is in charge, especially if they are near in age because usually more mature groups have the most mature individual as their leader. This can be upset by the capability of a new comer, and is usually based on the confidence and abilities they exhibit.
From the strength of your confidence you can do the private equivalent of a hostile take over of a group. Weak groups fear capable individuals because they do not know how to handle strength so they try to limit it. They prefer to weaken themselves through stagnation by only accepting individuals who are not going to motivate them to improve or who don’t threaten their power they begin to waste away, and their group founders. This makes it ripe for their fears to become reality. Someone who promotes growth and development, in short risk taking, will come by and take over the group or have their group absorb the weaker group.
There is a part in this equation needs to be addressed. You do not need to assert dominance if you already know you’re dominant. Let’s use the chat I was in as an example. When I was inducted into the group one of the guys tried to intimidate me, and he did so poorly. This is partly because his method was flawed and because of the levels of stress I’ve made myself used to and the mentality I tend to adopt. In addition the other males in the chat seem very… complacent. They seem to want to avoid conflict and don’t seem to want to improve or regularly practice their skills, particularly in debate. This mentality sets them up for failure because they will grow lax and experience decay.
If you continually practice and grow in confidence of your skill because you’ve put in the work and got success you won’t need to assert dominance. The reason is you will be able to size up anyone and get a good feel of their capabilities, and can see if they match you or not. You’ll also recognize the habits and mentalities of people who have not put in the time. From these observations you can determine just how well a group is in regards to motivation and growth, or just how much it can stagnate.
Through this power of confidence you can employ your effort when it is required: training, practicing, engaging and over coming obstacles, etc. This means you will use your effort effectively instead of wasting it all over the place.
Through practice come confidence, through confidence come efficiency, through efficiency comes passive dominance.
Think about it.
The Irreverent Gentleman