Every successful conversation, business interaction, or random encounter all have something in common. In this particular circumstance that commonality is working in good faith.
What is good faith? For our purposes it means that both sides are open to a multitude of outcomes or are open to finding a solution that works for both parties.
Why is good faith necessary for success? Good faith is a necessary component because it doesn’t waste time and remains open to possibilities. Let’s make up an example.
You really want to negotiate a deal with me. The potential benefit for both of us is huge in your opinion and the sooner we come to an agreement, the faster we both get something positive from it. However, I don’t want to negotiate.
From my perspective, your offer is worthless. I have no interest in working with you. There’s no benefit that I can see and no matter what you say I’m going to say “No”. If I went into negotiations with you I wouldn’t be operating in good faith because I had already determined my answer before hearing any of your offer.
The negotiations were dead from the start. This is one of the reasons why I usually say “No” very clearly when I get cold offers from people online if I’m not interesting in their services. “I’ll think about it” and “Not right now” create false hope for the person doing the pitch and usually results in me getting “follow up” messages for the next three months.
If you are not interested, be honest. But don’t go into every negotiation knowing you’ll say “no”. Because that wouldn’t be good faith. It’s also a fast way to get everyone to never want to deal or interact with you again.
Being open to negotiations and hearing other people’s perspective is one of the ways to lead a fulfilling life. We don’t know everything, and sometimes a great opportunity is buried in a random offer. We also shouldn’t preload our conversations with anything because our emotions are already preloading as we speak, we don’t need our logical sides to come in and help.
Resolving conflicts is impossible if you are only going to say “no.” This perpetuates any friction you may be having and can actually make it worse. So be open to working things out and reserve your “no” for when others are not operating in good faith.
Think about it.
Sincerely,
The Irreverent Gentleman
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